Saturday, August 15, 2009

The war becomes Hi-Tech

If you're one of the two people that reads this blog (I'm the other one), then you may remember that someone, or more likely, someTHING, has been stealing my bonsai trees. I've escalated the war and am employing hi-tech, surveillance and early warning systems.

A "Wrath of God" motion detecting, twin-Halogen floodlight system guaranteed to burn out the little bastard's retinas at the slightest
movement. And another motion detecting alarm with the control center right next to my bed so I can jump up when the alarm goes off and catch the culprit red-handed, or red-pawed, as the case may be.

Couple of problems though:

I haven't figured out how to make the twin-Halogen floodlights come on only when there's motion, thus surprising the intruder ... so as soon as it gets dark outside, the damn lights, ZAP!, come on surprising no one but doubling my electric bill. And apparently I've managed to screw up the alarm system because it activates three or four times a night if there's the slightest breeze (apparently it's breezy at 2, 3 and 4 a.m.) I LEAPT out of bed and looked out the back window the first couple of nights when the alarm went off at 2. And then again at 3. And 4. Oh, screw this. Now I just cuss at it when it goes off.

No more trees have vanished but my sleep sure has. I can say I have the best lit back yard in the neighborhood though. That's something to be proud of, right?


3beersmoreoften said...

Not trying to sound like a smart-ass, but did you happen to find a piece of paper that came with the light that had instructions on how to set up the light? The setting is either too sensitive or maybe a little spiderperson is screwing with your mind.

bonsairick said...

I DID get that paper. You're right. But it was written in English so I couldn't make heads nor tails out of it. Let's just go with the little spiderperson messing with my mind (falsely assuming, of course, that I HAVE a mind to mess with).