I'm home from work today suffering, and I mean SUFFERING from "femanine itch" ... that really sucks. Especially considering I'm not a feminine, I'm a male-anine. Yesterday, the doctor prescribed a hand-formulated compound simply called, and I kid you not, "Magic Butt Cream". That, in itself, would suffice as a good story, but I'll leave that one alone. However, I can only imagine the signage for the annual shareholder's meeting,"THE ANNUAL BUTT CREAM SHAREHOLDER'S MEETING WILL BE HELD IN BALLROOM C". The name tags would be great, "HI! MY NAME IS: BOB - BUTT CREAM SHAREHOLDER".
So a good friend calls and reminds me I haven't watched the movie I just bought, Dogma. I'm laying around, can't go out in public without getting arrested for fondling myself, so sure, an afternoon movie would be great.
I hate PC's and averything to do with them. I'm an Apple-Guy to the core (pun intended). You plug in a Mac it works. And it works GREAT! ... What the hell does my dislike for PC's have to do with this story? Everything. Read on.
So I plop the disk in the bluray player and wait. And wait. And wait, wait, wait ... What seems like, and may have been, 5 minutes later, a prompt, actually more of a declaration than a prompt, appears on the screen. Yes, it's the dreaded Sony Bluray prompt, "THIS DISK CANNOT BE READ!" My itching is now getting worse.
Time for another firmware update. Bet you didn't know you had to update your software in your damn movie player every 3 months, huh? It's a friggin' PC! Of COURSE you do. So I jump on my trusty Mac to download the update. After 20 minutes of trying to decypher Sony's indecypherable site, I stumble upon the correct download for my bluray player. YEAH!I click download. A prompt appears asking me to choose WHICH PC software I'm using to download this update ... I'm on a Mac ... that is not one of the choices. Grrrrr. Off to Google-Land to see what the hell's up with that. Found it! Can't download to a Mac. Double-Grrrrrr.
Fire up my wife's laptop - it's a PC. I navigate my way back to the elusive download site and press download. The PC laptop crashes. HOLY FLYING F@@K! Restart the damn thing. Now it's decided to do it's OWN upgrade and can't be bothered to do what I want it to do until it's done. OK, another 15 minutes later, it restarted itself - can we go back to Sony now?!
Finally! I've been able to burn a frickin' upgrade disk! There are dire warnings printed on the Sony download site - they're in red and all caps with LOTS of exclamation points warning me to NOT interrupt the upgrade sequence, that once it starts, the bluray player will turn on and off repeatedly, the disk door will open and close on its own periodically, kind of like in the Exorcist. And this will go on for approximately quite a while, but doesn't tell me HOW long.
We have a kitteh, who's now famous on I CAN HAZ CHEEZEBURGER? (search SAHTEHD KITTEH - yeah, that's him in the frying pan). He has a passion for the bluray player. He is obsessed with watching it and sometimes he will push the disk tray closed with his nose. So now I'm chasing him around the house to keep HIM from interrupting the upgrade sequence by closing the disk door.
And in the process of chasing him, I took my eye off the bluray's front panel, which has gone dark and is taunting me to remove the disk and go on about my business. But it is NOT displaying the all's clear message, "DL OK". The totally inert machine and I have been staring at each other for easily 20 minutes now, but I'm afraid to touch it.
40 minutes now. The bluray player and I are still staring at each other. Maybe if I just shoot the damn thing I can claim an intruder broke into my home, shot our bluray player and fled on foot. Then I could claim it on our insurance ... Reason for claim - intruder shot it. That should work.
I've now given up on watching Dogma. I may give up watching movies for the rest of my life after this.
I'll have to get back to you on this bluray thing later. Gotta go hit the Magic Butt Cream stash again.
Did I mention that I HATE PC's? Can't imagine why.
July 12th, 2009 - This just in ... tragedy ocurrs today in California NAPA Valley ...
The Frut of the Loom characters were making a guest appearance at the annual Wine Makers Conference when a case of Monty-Pythonic-Divine-mistaken-identity tragically squashed the fruity characters. Said Leaf's wife, "I can understand the Fruits getting whacked, but poor Leaf, he was just an innocent bystander! You can hardly even see him in the pic, in the pic, (sobs) in the piiiicturrrre, BWAHHAHAHHH! My poor Leafie!"
The families of Green Grape, Purple Grape and Apple, have all asked that any donations of sympathy be given in the form of Fruit Punch to the NAPA Valley Orphans Association. One anonymous family member sobbed pathetically, "The b-boys have already g-g-given their ALLLLLL!"
I'm an artist, so a bit off-center. My latest hobby is one from my childhood: model airplanes. But as boys get bigger, so do their toys, these are radio controlled. Some are smaller, some are are pretty darn big. But there are REALLY big ones available - I want those, of course. If you're ever looking for me, I'm either downstairs rebuilding planes or out at some field flying (or wrecking) them.
I've been plagued since birth by an imaginary villain I refer to as the Crazee Magnet. These are the chronicles of the Crazee Magnet and a look inside my extremely screwed-up way of looking at life.
These are always in a constant state of repair/disrepair. So there are only two or three flying at any one time.
E-flite Carbon-Z Yak 54
My absolute favorite plane to fly.
Great Planes Reactor Bipe .61
Been building this for a year. Saito 125 with Pitts smoke muffler. Should be sweet. Long, chunky biplane 58 inches long, 48 inch wingspan.
E-flite Pitts Model 12 15e
Gorgeous plane. First "real" plane I ever bought.
Hangar 9 P-51 PTS
This is a BEAUTIFUL, easy to fly plane. Wingspan is just shy of 5 feet so it has a real prescence on the field. My favorite nitro plane.
Great Planes Shoestring
Throwback to the older days of racers. GORGEOUS, foam with sheeting wings and fiberglass fuselage. Got an electric motor in it (Skorpion) big enough to power my KIA! Not ready to fly this one yet. Taking my time on the build.
Great Planes Combat Corsair
Still under construction.
Hangar 9 Twist
Old trim scheme - MUCH better than the new one below. I have both though.
Hangar 9 Twist
New trim scheme. Boring.
E-flite F-15 Eagle
My first jet. Under construction. Retractable landing gear are WAY COOL, but are driving me nuts trying to set them up! Twin EDF motors scare our dogs. Scare me too!
If I ever get this plane finished and can learn to keep the plane above ground, I'll be flying this one as a pylon racer. Will have Thunder Tiger Pro .40 up front.
E-flite P-40 Warkhawk
This tiny plane is a BLAST! With only a 25" wing span and 21" in length, I can fly it across the street at the park. It's fun doing imaginary strafing runs on trash cans and other such targets of evil.
Under construction. Will have OS 55 up front.
Parkzone P-51, modified
Awesome foamie! I've replaced the motor with a Power 10, 40 amp esc and 2200mAh 3s. It moves.
Parkzone F4U Corsair
Constantly flying and breaking this beautiful foam bird.
Parkzone T28 480 size and UMX
Have both of these. I did most of my newbie training on the larger one. EASY plane to fly.
Great Planes Extra 330SC
SUPER FUN to fly!!! Unfortunately, I flew it into the ground. It not fly no mo.
Electrifly Yak 54
Flew great until the manufacturer's crappy clevises failed. Boom. It's a mess.
Parkzone Edge 300
Ooops. This one hit a goal post. The goal post didn't move. The plane did. In about 6 different directions. Gone, probably won't be replaced. Pretty squirrelly plane to fly.