Saturday, April 18, 2009

Twitter-inspired verse

I just don't get Twitter. Probably the same way my great grandmother just didn't get the idea of microwave ovens (I STILL don't like THOSE damn things. AND I cook with GAS which shows you how old-school I am). I guess if I had a cell phone that would go to the internet and wanted to waste time, Twitter might make sense. Or if I gave a shit about celebrities.

But Twitter has inspired me to verse:

Here I sit upon the shitter;
though prone to write,
could only Twitter.

Damn, 2 syllables off of a haiku.

I'm going to leave that in the next out of town men's room I go to, Milwaukee, I think. Actually, I'm going to Austin, Texas too, that's a PERFECT place to leave that.

Just thought I'd share.

Petty Larceny. And a bit more.

Many, many years ago, I went to Cincinnati on a Visit Ohio Fun Pass, or some such Chamber of Commerce thing. When I got to the hotel, I WAS pleased to see it was a nice hotel! (For the price, I expected a dump.) When I got to the room I WASN'T pleased to see that I had a view of a brick wall from my window. I WAS pleased when I opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and found a brand new, never-before-used water bong. Obviously, it belonged to a maid or bellhop that must have thought NOBODY would EVER be given this room with a view of the brick wall. HA! What to do? If I took it, they could call the police and report it stolen. But that wasn't likely. So it vanished. I should probably make an amends, but I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that one.

I never heard from the cops or got an extra bill from the hotel. Or Ohio.

I WON'T be going back to THAT hotel. Even though it was 30 years ago and I've changed a bit, the dope fiend maid is probably still looking for me. We could duke it out with our canes.


Friday, April 17, 2009

YESH after about 2 beers in Florida...

Have fun, buddy!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Oh you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout I'm telling you why, the Easter Bunny's coming to town ...