I just spent two days in the hospital and was surprised that it had wooden floors. I thought that was like against hospital laws or something. Just how sterile can you actually get wood?
There was this big trench-like crack in the floor next to my bed. I stared at that crack night and day. I imagined what sorts of nasties might be lurking in that crack waiting to get me. Demerol helped feed my imagination. But the crack was real. We stared at each other day and night.
I think I'm going to go burn the socks I was wearing.
1. Wake up at 1:00 am feeling like someone's stabbing you in the gut with an icepick. OW! OW! OW! 2. Sneak off and drive yourself to the Emergency Room so as not to disturb your slumbering sweetheart. And while you're at it, don't call anyone else either. 3. Call your slumbering sweetheart at 5:30 am, after being diagnosed with acute appendicitis, surprising her that you're NOT in the bedroom, that, unbeknownst to her, you're being wheeled off to surgery and inform her that you want your organs to be donated to science in the event you die.
This is a GREAT way for your wife to start the day and is pretty much guaranteed to tick her off. She will then call your sponsor to rat on you. Who will then tell his wife. And after you recover from surgery, your wife WILL kick your ass. Then the sponsor and his wife will kick what's left of it. Then your other family and friends, who you didn't call for help either, will pick up the remaining pieces of your ass and kick them too.
I deserved it. Really. I learned my lesson. I just didn't want to impose. The next time I get a hangnail at midnight, you're ALL getting a call. Except you, Dear. I'll let you sleep. Heh, heh, heh...
1. Have a retinal reattachment surgery. 2. Prepare a fake ping-pong eyeball before your checkup. 3. Go in for your final post-surgical checkup. 4. Put the ping-ping eyeball in your eye before the doctor comes in the room. 5. As the doctor comes in the room and asks, "So how are we doing now?" Say, "Not so hot."
Doctors love this kind of shit. Mine did anyway.
PS. This post has nothing to do with my earlier ping-pong balls and ceiling fans post other than the fact I had a lot of ping pong balls laying around so I cut one in half. It had a little spaghetti on it.
Go to a bar on Saint Patty's Day and order a Zima (do they still make that crap?) and then add green food coloring that you've secretly brought into the bar with you. When the bartender comes by, commend him/her on the green Zima. Back when I did that, 15 years ago, the bartender freaked out and started yelling at me, "WE DON'T SELL GREEN ZIMA! WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? YOU BROUGHT THAT IN HERE AND THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW!" Bartenders are so easily excited.
If you drank too much green Zima the night before and don't remember anything in the morning, you will likely be in for a surprise when you use the restroom. Be prepared.
I'm an artist, so a bit off-center. My latest hobby is one from my childhood: model airplanes. But as boys get bigger, so do their toys, these are radio controlled. Some are smaller, some are are pretty darn big. But there are REALLY big ones available - I want those, of course. If you're ever looking for me, I'm either downstairs rebuilding planes or out at some field flying (or wrecking) them.
I've been plagued since birth by an imaginary villain I refer to as the Crazee Magnet. These are the chronicles of the Crazee Magnet and a look inside my extremely screwed-up way of looking at life.
These are always in a constant state of repair/disrepair. So there are only two or three flying at any one time.
E-flite Carbon-Z Yak 54
My absolute favorite plane to fly.
Great Planes Reactor Bipe .61
Been building this for a year. Saito 125 with Pitts smoke muffler. Should be sweet. Long, chunky biplane 58 inches long, 48 inch wingspan.
E-flite Pitts Model 12 15e
Gorgeous plane. First "real" plane I ever bought.
Hangar 9 P-51 PTS
This is a BEAUTIFUL, easy to fly plane. Wingspan is just shy of 5 feet so it has a real prescence on the field. My favorite nitro plane.
Great Planes Shoestring
Throwback to the older days of racers. GORGEOUS, foam with sheeting wings and fiberglass fuselage. Got an electric motor in it (Skorpion) big enough to power my KIA! Not ready to fly this one yet. Taking my time on the build.
Great Planes Combat Corsair
Still under construction.
Hangar 9 Twist
Old trim scheme - MUCH better than the new one below. I have both though.
Hangar 9 Twist
New trim scheme. Boring.
E-flite F-15 Eagle
My first jet. Under construction. Retractable landing gear are WAY COOL, but are driving me nuts trying to set them up! Twin EDF motors scare our dogs. Scare me too!
If I ever get this plane finished and can learn to keep the plane above ground, I'll be flying this one as a pylon racer. Will have Thunder Tiger Pro .40 up front.
E-flite P-40 Warkhawk
This tiny plane is a BLAST! With only a 25" wing span and 21" in length, I can fly it across the street at the park. It's fun doing imaginary strafing runs on trash cans and other such targets of evil.
Under construction. Will have OS 55 up front.
Parkzone P-51, modified
Awesome foamie! I've replaced the motor with a Power 10, 40 amp esc and 2200mAh 3s. It moves.
Parkzone F4U Corsair
Constantly flying and breaking this beautiful foam bird.
Parkzone T28 480 size and UMX
Have both of these. I did most of my newbie training on the larger one. EASY plane to fly.
Great Planes Extra 330SC
SUPER FUN to fly!!! Unfortunately, I flew it into the ground. It not fly no mo.
Electrifly Yak 54
Flew great until the manufacturer's crappy clevises failed. Boom. It's a mess.
Parkzone Edge 300
Ooops. This one hit a goal post. The goal post didn't move. The plane did. In about 6 different directions. Gone, probably won't be replaced. Pretty squirrelly plane to fly.