1. Have a retinal reattachment surgery.
2. Prepare a fake ping-pong eyeball before your checkup.
3. Go in for your final post-surgical checkup.
4. Put the ping-ping eyeball in your eye before the doctor comes in the room.
5. As the doctor comes in the room and asks, "So how are we doing now?" Say, "Not so hot."
Doctors love this kind of shit. Mine did anyway.
PS. This post has nothing to do with my earlier ping-pong balls and ceiling fans post other than the fact I had a lot of ping pong balls laying around so I cut one in half. It had a little spaghetti on it.
There's just so much I need to warn you about - And yet, tragically, I cannot.
7 months ago