Odd statement, I know. But I'm having major surgery in 4 days and the better my surgeon was at playing PacMan when he was a kid, the better the outcome will be on Wednesday.
I had the very first electronic game - Pong. And have played my fair share of every other game invented since then. I'm a gaming nut. As a matter of fact, if I had every quarter I ever dropped into those damned machines ... I'd probably be sitting here doing the same thing I'm doing right now because I'd have spent it on some other vice instead. Who am I trying to kid?
Anyway, I'm SO glad that Dr. B's Mom and Dad let him freak out on those games because he's going to be ridding MY little universe of Invaders next Wednesday using basically a BIG EXPENSIVE game controller called a da Vinci Laproscopic Robot, or something like that.
May the Force be with you, Dr. B. Now go get those little bastards!!! I hope you get a free game.
I try (again) to eat a peaceful meal in Vegas and read my book. No suits this time, at least they weren't wearing them ... but some of them showed up in plain clothes. So this dumb ass sits down three tables away and immediately becomes the center of the universe. He says, and I quote, "You know, I was returning from New Dehli and one of those Korean or Japanese bellhops opened my door - I don't know if he was Japanese or Korean because, you know how they all look alike..."
I suspect the Chinese waitress that was serving him soup was probably offended by his dumb-ass, racist remark. But that's just a guess. Dumb-Ass had made the "all look alike" statement as if the waitress wasn't even there, like she was invisible.
Yes, I'd returned to my favorite Chinese restaurant in the hotel and though I'm sure the waitress WAS an American citizen, she spoke very broken English and I'm pretty certain was of Chinese heritage. She did NOT look Korean, nor did she look Japanese.
I promptly went into "want-to-kick-the-ever-lovin-shit-out-of-Dumb-Ass" mode.
I wanted to casually walk over to the Dumb-Ass's table, pop off his BAD toupe, dunk it in the koi pond, then put it back on his head, and remark, "Yeah, and all wet f**ks look alike too, ass-wipe."
Instead, I did nothing. Which is something for me.
First off, I don't drink alcohol, so that pretty much eliminates HALF of what you can do in Vegas for free. Wanna Dr. Pepper? You're gonna' pay out the ass for it. They WANT you to drink alcohol because it makes you stupid and makes you bet money in the casino. I don't NEED alcohol to make me stupid. I do fine on my own.
So here's the short list of reasons I hate Vegas (ones I could think of in 10 seconds, give me time and I could write pages):
1. I left the chord half of my computer chord at home, NOT the part with the expensive converter box on it, just the simple chord part. They want TEN DOLLARS A DAY for a chord here. I could BUY the f**king chord for $10 if I didn't have to spend $50 for a cab to get away from the hookers and hotels to get one. Grrr. Obviously, I broke down on the last day and paid. Because: 2. I'm bored out of my damned mind!!!! Honest to God, last night I was contemplating sexual acts that Gummy Bears could perform that I could photograph and put on the blog ... only problem, I was bored and ate all the Gummy Bears - nothing sexual either, mind you. 3. I TRIED to be a good boy last night. I really tried. I left the show after my work was done to eat dinner, read a book, watch a movie and sleep. Vegas won't let you do that. NONE of the restaurants open until 5:00, even if you stand outside their door whimpering like a puppy (I tried). And it's a 1/2 mile hike from the restaurants through the casino to the far end of the tower and up to my room. So I sat at a penny slot machine. That can't do much damage, huh? $60 later, and not MUCH later, I might add, it's STILL not 5:00 and I'm still starved and am back at the restaurant whimpering at the front door. This time it worked and he seated me 15 minutes early. Since it was a Chinese restaurant, I bowed repeatedly. He didn't bow back and looked at me like I was weird. 4. I'm trying to relax and eat my Chinese food and in walk three suits ... salespeople. I have nothing against salespeople except they're usually loud and obnoxious. These were. I eyed my chopsticks with the possible intent of homicide. What a cool story that would have made. "Crazed Pizza Guy Viciously Slays Loud-Mouthed Suits with Chopsticks While Reading Samurai Book in Chinese Restaurant. Spends Night in County Jail with Transvestite Hookers Awaiting Arraignment." 5. This is a GOOD thing, but not something you see everyday - there's a tee pee set up INDOORS, just outside the casino in the hotel I'm staying in. I'm going to see if I can get my room transferred to the teepee - it's the only REAL thing I've seen in Vegas. The RES2009 Reservation Economic Summit & American Indian Business Trade Fair "N2N" is going on. Lots of incredible jewelry, clothing and pottery. I bought a tiny, tiny pot with a big, big price. It's beautiful. Navajo. Seed pot. There ARE a couple of GOOD things in Vegas. But not many. 6. It takes a small car loan to go see a show here ($150 and UP!) - PLUS the $50 cab drive to get TO the show. So no shows for me. 7. There's NO COFFEE maker in any of the rooms. You have to pay for that. About $6 a cup. Hookers? Yes, THAT you can have in your room. As long as she's not carrying a coffee maker with her. 8. The television in my room gets the networks, remember those? The Donkey Channel and The Everything for a Dollar Channel. And oh yes, of course, the ANYTHING-YOU-WANT-TO-DO-IN-VEGAS-IF-YOU-HAPPEN-TO-HAVE-A-BAZILLION-DOLLARS-CHANNEL. 9. They have soft drink machines that accept credit cards. I shit you not. So theoretically, if you only paid the monthly minimum due on your Coke, after 2 years, with credit card interest, you could wind up paying $720 for that Coke. Bite me Vegas. 10. Forgot to pack your deodorant? No problem. There's a drugstore a mere 3 blocks away ... I made THAT mistake ONCE years ago. Vegas blocks are not human blocks. They are VEGAS blocks. Each block is about 100 football fields long. It requires advanced training and maybe even supplemental oxygen to make the perilous trip. Should you be brave and athletic enough to make the trip, you then must face the gauntlet of porno purveyors ... the homeless, drug-users, prostitutes, pimps who line the sidewalks, spaced-out (literally) every 6 feet (I do not exaggerate) handing out "for a hot night" pamphlets. Ahhhh, you made it to the drugstore. Deodorant, deodorant, there it is ... $13.99!!! Instead, your new, affordable game plan becomes to stuff a couple of free hotel soap bars up your arm pits and be done with it. Now you have to make the perilous, empty-handed return trip to your hotel. In short, it's not worth it.
If you're like me, and you don't have a lot of money and you find yourself dumped in Las Vegas, you're screwed. I paid for the $10 power chord and my $14 internet, so for $24, this is actually the CHEAPEST way to get through a Vegas night.
This place sucks. Take me hooooooooommmmme, country roooooooodddssss, to the plaaaaccccceeeee, I bellloooooooonnnnnnnngggggg.
I used to carry my BITEURASS BADGER® 46" Chainsaw and my GETYUR BUTTMOVIN BESSIE BRAND® Cattle Prod in the overhead compartment. Next to my thermos of plutonium. I guess those days are gone for a good reason though.
Sue's in the living room watching a guy with flies flying around him lassoed to tiny, tiny threads in 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil' and I'm in here dancing with a bird that's kickin' ass to Ray Charles. Just your normal evening around here.
I'm an artist, so a bit off-center. My latest hobby is one from my childhood: model airplanes. But as boys get bigger, so do their toys, these are radio controlled. Some are smaller, some are are pretty darn big. But there are REALLY big ones available - I want those, of course. If you're ever looking for me, I'm either downstairs rebuilding planes or out at some field flying (or wrecking) them.
I've been plagued since birth by an imaginary villain I refer to as the Crazee Magnet. These are the chronicles of the Crazee Magnet and a look inside my extremely screwed-up way of looking at life.
These are always in a constant state of repair/disrepair. So there are only two or three flying at any one time.
E-flite Carbon-Z Yak 54
My absolute favorite plane to fly.
Great Planes Reactor Bipe .61
Been building this for a year. Saito 125 with Pitts smoke muffler. Should be sweet. Long, chunky biplane 58 inches long, 48 inch wingspan.
E-flite Pitts Model 12 15e
Gorgeous plane. First "real" plane I ever bought.
Hangar 9 P-51 PTS
This is a BEAUTIFUL, easy to fly plane. Wingspan is just shy of 5 feet so it has a real prescence on the field. My favorite nitro plane.
Great Planes Shoestring
Throwback to the older days of racers. GORGEOUS, foam with sheeting wings and fiberglass fuselage. Got an electric motor in it (Skorpion) big enough to power my KIA! Not ready to fly this one yet. Taking my time on the build.
Great Planes Combat Corsair
Still under construction.
Hangar 9 Twist
Old trim scheme - MUCH better than the new one below. I have both though.
Hangar 9 Twist
New trim scheme. Boring.
E-flite F-15 Eagle
My first jet. Under construction. Retractable landing gear are WAY COOL, but are driving me nuts trying to set them up! Twin EDF motors scare our dogs. Scare me too!
If I ever get this plane finished and can learn to keep the plane above ground, I'll be flying this one as a pylon racer. Will have Thunder Tiger Pro .40 up front.
E-flite P-40 Warkhawk
This tiny plane is a BLAST! With only a 25" wing span and 21" in length, I can fly it across the street at the park. It's fun doing imaginary strafing runs on trash cans and other such targets of evil.
Under construction. Will have OS 55 up front.
Parkzone P-51, modified
Awesome foamie! I've replaced the motor with a Power 10, 40 amp esc and 2200mAh 3s. It moves.
Parkzone F4U Corsair
Constantly flying and breaking this beautiful foam bird.
Parkzone T28 480 size and UMX
Have both of these. I did most of my newbie training on the larger one. EASY plane to fly.
Great Planes Extra 330SC
SUPER FUN to fly!!! Unfortunately, I flew it into the ground. It not fly no mo.
Electrifly Yak 54
Flew great until the manufacturer's crappy clevises failed. Boom. It's a mess.
Parkzone Edge 300
Ooops. This one hit a goal post. The goal post didn't move. The plane did. In about 6 different directions. Gone, probably won't be replaced. Pretty squirrelly plane to fly.