Death, you know, aka the Grim Reaper? ... the guy all dressed in black? ... comes to visit all of us eventually? Well Old Grim's been doing his thankless task since humans first invaded the planet. And not only has he been performing his duty for millions of years - he does it night and day, 24/7/365. That's a LOT of overtime.
So he's decided enough's enough and he's retiring next week.
His job cannot be left vacant however or the Earth's population would implode. Therefore, auditions for his replacement are being held this weekend (9-6 Sat. and 9-5 Sun.).
- You MUST look good in black - You MUST be able to ride a gallant steed - You MUST be available for night and weekend work - Familiarization with the scythe is a plus
Mere mortals need not apply. Goths will be turned away at the door.
We're still in California and just got urgent word that there's a crisis brewing in our backyard. Seems the racoons are demanding that we release their leader, whom we captured last week as he was trying to steal another one of our bonsai trees. They say that if we fail to release him - the neighbor's kitten get's whacked. Sorry, Kitty, but you're goin' to that Great Litter Box in the Sky.
Sue and I, having reverted back to our inner hippie-dom here in San Francisco, have taken up eating seaweed, donning sandals, wearing flowers in our hair and chanting protests in the public square ... "SCREW LOUISVILLE, WE AINT NEVER GOING BACK! SCREW LOUISVILLE, WE ..." until we got arrested - now we've started an eating strike at the jail (it's the opposite of a hunger strike - you eat SO much they can't afford to keep you incarcerated). But the jail threw us out and told us to just "Get the Hell out of town."
"HELL NO, WE WON'T GO! HE'LL NO, WE WON'T GO! ..."
1980-ish, I was art directing a photo for an ad i was designing for a hotsie-totsie restaurant. The restaurant owner didn't want to spend the money on paid models, so he called about a dozen of his equally hotsie-totsie friends to be in the ad.
Trying to direct a dozen non-professional models, three servers and a guy preparing Flaming Bananas Foster tableside was a REAL bitch! But everybody was finally arranged exactly the way I wanted them so I spoke the magic word - "SHOOT!"
What happened next ranks right up there with the Michael Jackson/Pepsi Commercial Fiasco - only ours happened years before Michael's ...
As I hollered "SHOOT!" the servers began serving, the fake customers did their best to look real and the guy fixing the Bananas Foster poured the liquor into the hot tableside pan. And it exploded. The pan had gotten too hot while waiting for me to perfect the expressions and positioning ... so the liquor combusted and blew all over the place setting a ficus tree, the carpet and a female customer's hair on fire!
In less than 2 seconds my beautiful photo decayed into carnage! The poor woman's husband was beating on her head, another customer was dousing the tree with his drinking water and the Bananas Foster guy was madly stomping out the carpet fire.
And I'm standing there slack-jawed - HOLY CRAP!!! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED???!!!
They put out the woman's head and thank God she wasn't burned or injured. Her hair was smoldering when she ran her fingers through it and out came a HUGE clump of blond hair. The place smelled pretty rank too - the kind of smell produced only when fine food and burning human hair are combined.
After taking 20 minutes or so to recompose herself, she brushed her hair the best she could and bravely carried on.
In the final version, if you look real close, she is staring down the Bananas Foster guy with a "Do-it-again-and-you-will-die" look.
The strange craft landed behind her, two creatures that looked JUST like Sue got out, came over, they all twittered, looked at me and collectively muttered, "Engh." Then they got back in the Mothership and left. Except Sue. Apparently she's been given the daunting task of studying intelligence on this planet. Or in my case, the lack thereof.
Women are from Venus and men are from ... well ... uh, Louisville.
I'm an artist, so a bit off-center. My latest hobby is one from my childhood: model airplanes. But as boys get bigger, so do their toys, these are radio controlled. Some are smaller, some are are pretty darn big. But there are REALLY big ones available - I want those, of course. If you're ever looking for me, I'm either downstairs rebuilding planes or out at some field flying (or wrecking) them.
I've been plagued since birth by an imaginary villain I refer to as the Crazee Magnet. These are the chronicles of the Crazee Magnet and a look inside my extremely screwed-up way of looking at life.
These are always in a constant state of repair/disrepair. So there are only two or three flying at any one time.
E-flite Carbon-Z Yak 54
My absolute favorite plane to fly.
Great Planes Reactor Bipe .61
Been building this for a year. Saito 125 with Pitts smoke muffler. Should be sweet. Long, chunky biplane 58 inches long, 48 inch wingspan.
E-flite Pitts Model 12 15e
Gorgeous plane. First "real" plane I ever bought.
Hangar 9 P-51 PTS
This is a BEAUTIFUL, easy to fly plane. Wingspan is just shy of 5 feet so it has a real prescence on the field. My favorite nitro plane.
Great Planes Shoestring
Throwback to the older days of racers. GORGEOUS, foam with sheeting wings and fiberglass fuselage. Got an electric motor in it (Skorpion) big enough to power my KIA! Not ready to fly this one yet. Taking my time on the build.
Great Planes Combat Corsair
Still under construction.
Hangar 9 Twist
Old trim scheme - MUCH better than the new one below. I have both though.
Hangar 9 Twist
New trim scheme. Boring.
E-flite F-15 Eagle
My first jet. Under construction. Retractable landing gear are WAY COOL, but are driving me nuts trying to set them up! Twin EDF motors scare our dogs. Scare me too!
If I ever get this plane finished and can learn to keep the plane above ground, I'll be flying this one as a pylon racer. Will have Thunder Tiger Pro .40 up front.
E-flite P-40 Warkhawk
This tiny plane is a BLAST! With only a 25" wing span and 21" in length, I can fly it across the street at the park. It's fun doing imaginary strafing runs on trash cans and other such targets of evil.
Under construction. Will have OS 55 up front.
Parkzone P-51, modified
Awesome foamie! I've replaced the motor with a Power 10, 40 amp esc and 2200mAh 3s. It moves.
Parkzone F4U Corsair
Constantly flying and breaking this beautiful foam bird.
Parkzone T28 480 size and UMX
Have both of these. I did most of my newbie training on the larger one. EASY plane to fly.
Great Planes Extra 330SC
SUPER FUN to fly!!! Unfortunately, I flew it into the ground. It not fly no mo.
Electrifly Yak 54
Flew great until the manufacturer's crappy clevises failed. Boom. It's a mess.
Parkzone Edge 300
Ooops. This one hit a goal post. The goal post didn't move. The plane did. In about 6 different directions. Gone, probably won't be replaced. Pretty squirrelly plane to fly.