Saturday, June 13, 2009

Rolling Razor

If I use this razor, will my hair get all spikey like that?

My hand hurts today, but I can do this

Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm taking this Japanese thing too far...

Our office closes at 1:00 on Fridays so I was enjoying a sunny, pleasant afternoon working on my bonsai trees. I was working on the tree shown above, a San Jose Juniper and was adding more shari - a process where the bark is removed to simulate age. In the process, I stabbed myself DEEPLY (about 1 1/2" deep) in the hand with an Xacto knife and spent the REST of the day/evening getting stitches. And now I have to go see a hand specialist next week.

There is a no-longer-practiced Japanese suicidal method called Harikari (Seppuku), where a person disembowels him/herself with a samurai sword ... close ... just got my hand though.

Bonsai is SUPPOSED to be relaxing and it is. Most of the time.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

All hail's breaking loose

As I write this, the weather reporters on TV are going nuts, the storm warning radio in the bedroom is honking and they're talking about possible hail - quarter-sized hail ... so I got to thinking ... how many sizes are there of hail and is there an "official" chart?

Yep, there is: NOAA, the National Old Aardvark's Association (or whatever NOAA stands for) says THIS is the official list:

NOAA Chart
Hail Size Chart
Hail Dia....Description
1/2"........Plain M&M
1 1/4"......Half Dollar
1 1/2"......Walnut/Ping Pong Ball
1 3/4"......Golf Ball
2"...........Hen Egg/Lime (I thought hail was round)
2 1/2.......Tennis Ball
2 3/4"......Baseball
3"...........Teacup/Large Apple
4 1/2"......Softball
4 3/4"- 5"..Computer CD-DVD

Then there's a not so official list:

Hail Dia....Description
0.10" ball bearing size hail
0.25".......booger size hail
0.50".......rabbit turd size hail
0.75" fly size hail
1.00".......prune size hail
1.50".......eyeball size hail
2.00".......raw oyster size hail
3.00".......stink bomb size hail
4.00".......fat mouse size hail
5.00+"......cow patty size hail

Someone else already did what I was trying to do:

I found so many variations on hail sizes I gave up on this article and switched over to YouTube. I wouldn't blame you if you left here now and did the same thing. I'll save you the time, just click here:

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Touching, Classic, Short Film

When I was a wee little artist back in design school, my instructor showed us this film. It's every bit as good today as it was back then.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Cold turkey - Day 1

It's been a little over 6 hours without my iPhone. I had it for 27 days and returned it to the store this afternoon because I didn't like the camera ... sure, on the 19th I get a NEW 3GS with video, double the hard drive space, twice as fast, much better camera ... but for now, cold turkey. Pacing the floor. Pacing. Can't sit still. Can't think. Still pacing. How will I ever make it 10 days without it? Must focus. My old iPhone's empty leather case is sitting here in front of me. It's taunting me ... giving me an accusing look like only a empty, leather, iPhone case can give. QUIT STARING AT ME! Must go to bed.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Same weekend, yet ANOTHER story

These things really did happen. I'm not making this up. After you read this, read the two stories below. They all happened within 24 hours of each other.

AFTER the boat launching story, but BEFORE the fishing story, we were all walking down to the lake. My friends had a big, dumb, gold dog. A great dog. But dumber'n hell. He decided to dig up a ground hornet community, or some such pissed of flying, stinging, insect herd. And they attacked. Not only the dog but anything moving, including US!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! We had to RUN to the dock and hurl ourselves into the lake to get them to stop stinging us. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

Little did I know, there was more weirdness to come that weekend. Read the next two stories. Chronologically, the next story happened first, and the last one last ... this first story was actually second ... but you're reading backward because blogs are upside down ... story-wise. Confused? Welcome to my world. Read the next two. If you don't like them, you can have your money back.

Same weekend, same lake, different story

Same weekend as the one in the story below. This happened BEFORE the actual fishing story.

First we had to get the boat IN the lake! No problem. I was used to launching my father-in-law's small boat, he would back the trailer into the lake as I stood on the truck bumper and then I'd release the winch and float the boat off.

Uh, not this time. This wasn't my father-in-law's boat, it was my friend's and HIS trailer had rollers on it so the boat would roll off by itself. I didn't know this. But I faithfully got on the bumper and he TOOK OFF backwards! Then he slammed on the brakes just short of the lake - the kind of "fling-the-boat-in-the-lake-method". I wasn't aware of his game plan so I was still holding onto the rim of the boat when he slammed on the brakes. The rollers on the trailer did what they were supposed to do and I had to make an instantaneous decision - go with the boat or stay with the truck. I chose the boat. (I didn't know there was a rope attached to it so I was going to heroically "save" the boat.)

Engghhhh ... WRONG! It drug me off the bumper, into the lake. I was still hanging on for dear life as the boat propelled backward away from the trailer - AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! He jumps out of the truck and casually picks up the rope that was tied to the boat. I'm submerged from the chest down, clinging to the boat. But I can't haul myself into the damn thing because I'm laughing like a maniac. He reeled both the boat and I in and saved the day.

And that's how idiots drown. Or get run over by a truck. Or both.