Years ago, I got trashed at a party at a friend's house by the lake. Which friend and which lake will remain anonymous. You'll see why, read on. We were up until about 3 am partying.
5 am came REAL early - fishing time! Ugh. I love to fish. But this is ridiculous.
So off we go in the boat.
We're fishing by the bank and it's a beautiful, clear morning. The sun has just come up. Ahhhhhh, crickets cricketing, frogs frogging, ecstasy ... except for the hangover which was like 5 deranged monkeys pounding on gongs inside my head. Just REMEMBERING hangovers like that helps keep me sober today.
Not only was my brain stunned, but apparently my body was too because as I cast my bait toward the shore, my hand let go of the entire thing, not just the button, so the entire fishing rod followed the bait. Right into the lake. About 20 feet away. KERPLUNK! Shit! What a drunken ass.
We sailed, motored, whatever the hell you do in a motorboat, over toward the "last seen" location of my errant fishing rig. Fortunately I could see the rod and reel about a foot under the water. Given my physical/mental state, I didn't want to try reaching it without help because I KNEW I'd fall in the lake. So I asked my friend to hold me from behind, you know, kind of like we're ... well ... you know ... while I bent over the boat to fetch the rod (so to speak). Oh, no, he said, he wasn't doing that. Somebody might see us and think we were gay. I replied that it was 5:15 in the morning, who the hell's going to see us? There's nobody on the lake this early except us hungover idiots. Do you see anybody else? No. OK.
And sure enough, as soon as we got on our knees and I bent over in front of him and he held me tight from behind, PUTT-PUTT-PUTT comes another damn fishing boat around the point no more than 100 feet away with two good-old boys fishing. Actually, it didn't PUTT-PUTT-PUTT because they had a silent-running trolling motor. DAMN!!! I grabbed the fishing rod as quickly as I could and pretended to ignore the other guys except to give them a manly nod as they passed. 'Course there's still water dripping out of my reel as they pass by. And I know damn good a well they saw us.
Now you see why this site is called CrazeeMagnet. Another true story. I don't NEED to make up stuff.
There's just so much I need to warn you about - And yet, tragically, I cannot.
1 year ago