Go to a bar on Saint Patty's Day and order a Zima (do they still make that crap?) and then add green food coloring that you've secretly brought into the bar with you. When the bartender comes by, commend him/her on the green Zima. Back when I did that, 15 years ago, the bartender freaked out and started yelling at me, "WE DON'T SELL GREEN ZIMA! WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? YOU BROUGHT THAT IN HERE AND THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW!" Bartenders are so easily excited.
If you drank too much green Zima the night before and don't remember anything in the morning, you will likely be in for a surprise when you use the restroom. Be prepared.
There's just so much I need to warn you about - And yet, tragically, I cannot.
3 weeks ago