Sunday, September 13, 2009

A field trip to the Cinemas

My grandson wanted to go see the new animated flick "9" yesterday. Sounded like fun - I haven't been to a theater since "Hunt for Red October" was released. Yeah, it's been a while. There's a reason why I stopped going and I'd forgotten until yesterday.

Don't get me wrong. Spending "guy time" with my grandson was WAY COOL! And the animation was AWESOME. Unfortunately, the script was as transparent as Saran Wrap. But being with my Bud and the animation made it worth every cent.

I was to find out that it would cost LOTS of cents. LOTS and LOTS. A second mortgage worth.

We went to the early matinee. The last matinee I went to was, well, uh, in 1965 - Goldfinger. Cost then? 25 cents. Cost for two of us to see "9" - $14!!!

Oh, screw it. It's only money. (You know, whoever came up with that saying probably had a LOT of IT!)

A movie is NOT a movie without popcorn. Right? Of course, back in 1969, popcorn was 10 cents. Not knowing what sizes S-M-L would actually be, volume-wise, I ordered a LARGE. A truck backed up to the counter, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP and dumped a load of popcorn into a grocery bag. Cost - $14!!!! Had the Native Americans known the true value of teaching the Pilgrims how to pop corn, they wouldn't have done it and there would be roadside stands today featuring Pocahontas Popped Corn. History would have been rewritten.

So into the movie we go, grocery bag o' corn in hand.

About 30 minutes into the film, I discover that scientists have been toying with the genetics of popcorn. Popcorn has now been engineered as such to instill MAXIMUM thirst in a MINIMUM amount of time. I go to the consession stand for further fleecing. My eyes SAW the price of a SMALL soft drink on the menu, but my brain blocked what it had seen as being impossible. The woman hands me the drinks and mutters, "AID dollup spleez." having no clue of what she just said, I asked her to repeat it. She did. "Eight dollars, please." .... for two SMALL drinks?! I didn't ask to have 20-year old bourbon in them, just ice, water, corn syrup and flavoring.

So back in the theater I go. Climbing the steps wasn't too hard this time, even with the drinks in hand, probably the absense of weight caused by the absence of money.

But you know what? Doesn't matter. I had a GREAT TIME with my buddy. And THAT makes it all worth while.