I awoke this morning in the middle of a sunken cheesecake-like crater wondering how I got there.
No, I hadn't been drinking. My hotel has a Sleep Number Bed. Cool. But I now suspect that Sleep Numbers are manufactured by The Firestone Tire Company ... It's a giant whoopee cushion with a controller that you can either dial up or down to control an electric air pump. Up, turns on the compressor. Down, releases air from the bed balloon.
I like a soft bed. So I bled it down to #35. So now I'm rolling around in the middle of this crater like a turtle, stuck on it's back.
Reminds me when my wife and I awoke soaking wet because one of our cats punctured our water bed.
There's just so much I need to warn you about - And yet, tragically, I cannot.
4 months ago