Friday, February 27, 2009


1987, divorced, living on the river in an apartment. Lonely. Real lonely.

So I decided to get some companions. I talked the guy at one of the local liquor stores into giving me his Bartles and Jaymes life-size cardboard cutout display. Frank and Ed became my best buddies. I put them in the window of my 2nd floor apartment so it looked like I had visitors. Yes, I was that desperate.

One thing that explains a lot is that I drank liquor back then. Lots. And one of the many side effects was I forgot a lot too. Like, for instance, I kept forgetting that Frank and Ed were there. So every time I'd walk into the room, I'd piss my pants because two strange fellows were standing in my living room waiting to attack me ... AAAAHHHHH! Or I'd be staggering home from the local bar and look up at my 2nd floor window and see the silhouette of two guys standing in my apartment ... AAAAHHHH! They're going to steal the 13" black and white TV with the broken antenna that I got in the divorce! Bastards!!

At some point I BOUGHT a Mr. Spock (Star Trek) cutout to go with Frank and Ed and put a speech balloon on him that said, "THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE." and stood him next to my computer. Clever, huh?

The four of us could have played poker more often but Frank cheated a lot and Spock, well hell, who can beat him? So we spent most of our time singing old Beatles songs and watching the 13" TV. Spock, of course, had to watch Star Trek on Sunday mornings. Ed snores a lot.

I have no clue where the Frank and Ed cutouts went. Maybe they stole themselves. Spock WAS in the basement but got wet when our basement flooded. I WILL tell you, true to the end, Spock wrinkled up in a highly logical manner.


Anonymous said...

Somehow I ended up with Frank and Ed.
I have a pic somewhere of them with an Ed McMahon & Bill The Cat.

Don't know where they went after that.

bonsairick said...

Frank, Ed, Ed #2 and Bill the Cat ... THAT must have been one hell of an evening!