I hates meeses to pieces

There was a dark period of time many years ago when my wife and I split up for a year. My fault. I'm stupid. But I was living alone, or so I thought.

It was Halloween and I put out a gigantic bowl of Tootsie Rolls for the neighborhood kids. The illusion of normality didn't help, but going through the paces seemed the only sensible thing to do. Something like 5 honest kids came and only took a small portion of the candy.

So the bowl with about 200 remaining Tootsie Rolls went in the computer room. I'd see it every day when I'd get on my computer but I had the will power to NOT eat the Tootsie Rolls for about 6 months!!!

One day, the Power of the Roll was overpowering and I broke down. I grabbed for a Tootsie Roll and all I got was a wrapper. No roll. I grabbed again. I got a hand full of wrappers. No rolls. That's when I noticed the teeny-weeny mouse teeth marks on the paper. AAAAAAAAARGGGGGGHHHH!! Little bastard(s) ate every one of my damn Tootsie Rolls and left the wrappers! And mouse turds. Grrrrrrrrrr.

That pissed me off. So I bought a BUNCH of traps and set them all over the room.

Two weeks later, the tally was 22 mice! I'd caught nearly TWO DOZEN of them and hadn't SEEN any of them prior to catching them. I'd been supplying the entire damn mouse neighborhood with treats! And they'd been returning the favor with turds.

I discovered my problem later. A dryer vent that was wide open to the outside. After I sealed that - no more mice.

Typically, I'd feel REAL bad about taking any creature's life, but in this case ... they ate my WHOLE damn bowl of Tootsie Rolls - DIE suckers , DIE!