I had a CAT scan two weeks ago and as I was leaving the room, I glanced into the operator's room and saw one of my images on the screen...
If YOU are an operator of a CAT scanner, here's a handy little tip:
DON'T LEAVE SHIT ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN FOR PATIENTS LIKE ME TO SEE!
I have no idea what I saw on the screen because I'm NOT a f**king doctor, but I'm now thoroughly convinced I have malaria, bubonic plague, VD, a telephone pole lodged in my liver, a fatal disorder of the appendix (which I've already had removed), AND cancer of the spleen, whatever the hell a spleen is. And I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant, though I'm a male.
Please, please, please, take the damn images OFF THE SCREEN before hypochondriacs like me leave the room! Armed with ZERO medical knowledge and a 10 second glance at a CAT scan, I'm now searching the internet to determine what rare and insidious diseases I have before I get my results THREE weeks from now! AAARGGGHHHHH!
It's probably nothing ... you know, it DID kind of look like Pac-Man.
There's just so much I need to warn you about - And yet, tragically, I cannot.
7 months ago