Saturday, September 13, 2008

Narcissism Reigns!

OK. I fought it for a LONG time. But my ego won out. Besides, everyone at work does it. Does what? Blogs.

I thought, "Why the hell should I write about me?" I'm boring. Then I figured, that may be true, but the things that have happened to me aren't necessarily boring. As a matter of fact, some of my experiences have been pretty damn weird.

So that's why I named this blog "CrazeeMagnet" (somebody else already has CrazyMagnet, we should compare stories). That's what I used to attribute the strangeness of my life to, a fictitious thing called the Crazy Magnet. Surely it couldn't be ME that's causing all this weirdness.

As it turns out, I WAS responsible for a lot of the odd occurrences, but not all. The rest, well, I'll just attribute those to life in general. No rhyme. No reason. Just crazy. And I do seem to attract crazy.

I've always wanted to write a book about the Crazy Magnet, chronicling the events. But there have always been several things holding me back:

1. I'm not a rich man and can't afford to print a book of my worthless thoughts.
2. I never got off my lazy ass to do it.
And most importantly:
3. Who the hell would want to read this dribble anyway?

Actually, that's the way I feel about most blogs - why would I want to read that crap? Who gives a shit if your dog screwed a canary (actually that does sound pretty interesting, in a sick sort of way). So why should I be any different?

But blogging addresses the 3 aforementioned problems I had with publishing my thoughts:

1. Blogging is free. Other than time - I don't have much time, but what I have is free, I guess that's why they call it free time. Duh.
2. I'm still lazy, so nothing has changed there. I lied about all three things being changed.
3. Nobody HAS to read this. That's the beauty of it. It's kind of like the SETI listening stations out west, they broadcast signals out into space and have been sitting patiently for DECADES listening for a response from alien beings from the Great Beyond. Well, I'm not about to sit around listening for a response to this crap, but hey, it fulfills my inner desire to express myself. Even if I'm the only schmuck that reads it. (I can't believe my spell-check took the word "schmuck"!).

One thing all the bloggers at work tell me (God the world is changing, spell-check just accepted the word "bloggers" too): Keep your posts short. Well hell, I'm long winded. Ask the folks from work. Better yet, ask my wife. That poor woman has listened to me ramble on and on and on for 20 years now. Saint Sue. But I'll shut up for now. Will there ever be another post? Actually, who gives a shit? But we'll see. And if you ARE out there listening, "HELLO ... I AM FROM THE PLANET EARTH. IT'S WEIRDER THAN SHIT HERE. DON'T COME ... YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!"


bonsairick said...

He does attract crazy. He married me, and that's proof enough for anyone.

aliceoliveu2 said...

I didn't see this the first time I checked your blogs. "It's weirder than shit here. Don't come!" YESSSSSSSS That's hilarious!!!