Twitter-inspired verse

I just don't get Twitter. Probably the same way my great grandmother just didn't get the idea of microwave ovens (I STILL don't like THOSE damn things. AND I cook with GAS which shows you how old-school I am). I guess if I had a cell phone that would go to the internet and wanted to waste time, Twitter might make sense. Or if I gave a shit about celebrities.

But Twitter has inspired me to verse:

Here I sit upon the shitter;
though prone to write,
could only Twitter.

Damn, 2 syllables off of a haiku.

I'm going to leave that in the next out of town men's room I go to, Milwaukee, I think. Actually, I'm going to Austin, Texas too, that's a PERFECT place to leave that.

Just thought I'd share.

Petty Larceny. And a bit more.

Many, many years ago, I went to Cincinnati on a Visit Ohio Fun Pass, or some such Chamber of Commerce thing. When I got to the hotel, I WAS pleased to see it was a nice hotel! (For the price, I expected a dump.) When I got to the room I WASN'T pleased to see that I had a view of a brick wall from my window. I WAS pleased when I opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and found a brand new, never-before-used water bong. Obviously, it belonged to a maid or bellhop that must have thought NOBODY would EVER be given this room with a view of the brick wall. HA! What to do? If I took it, they could call the police and report it stolen. But that wasn't likely. So it vanished. I should probably make an amends, but I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that one.

I never heard from the cops or got an extra bill from the hotel. Or Ohio.

I WON'T be going back to THAT hotel. Even though it was 30 years ago and I've changed a bit, the dope fiend maid is probably still looking for me. We could duke it out with our canes.

WMD

YESH after about 2 beers in Florida...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UirYO7pF3O0

Have fun, buddy!

Oh you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout I'm telling you why, the Easter Bunny's coming to town ...